Discussion:
Anyone read the Top 6 Scripts from Project Greenlight?
(too old to reply)
New Jersey Housewife
2004-06-27 23:24:00 UTC
Permalink
I've been curious to see what other people interested in writing and
filmmaking think about the "best of the best" from this round of
Project Greenlight. I've only read one of the final 6 scripts and if
this was among the very best out of thousands of entries, all I can
say is, "Oh, sh*t."

"Feast" is a story about a group of stereotypical cartoon characters
(so thin they are only named Heroine and Boss and so on) trapped in a
small building as Beastie monsters try to get in to kill them.

The trapped characters always had an escape tunnel from the very
beginning of the story - they don't bother to use it until the very
end.

The beasties always had the ability to come up through the floorboards
and chomp the people. They don't bother to do it until the very end.

When the people make a run for it after suddenly remembering the
existence of an escape tunnel after 90 minutes or so of movie, a
sudden from-out-of-nowhere solar eclipse casts them into darkness and
allows the beasties to chomp away. Beasties don't like daylight it
seems.

Some scene highlights: A small child is brutally ripped to pieces in
gory and bloody fashion onscreen. Papa Beastie and Mama Beastie have
"monster sex" in front of the people. Papa Beastie gets his huge
beastie penis and huge beastie balls slammed in a door.

So... anyone around here read any of the other top 6 scripts? What did
you think?
New Jersey Housewife
2004-06-28 15:36:19 UTC
Permalink
***@yahoo.com (New Jersey Housewife) wrote in message news:<***@posting.google.com>...


Oh, my. Are there any Project Greenlight members here? There seems to
be quite a few lively (and heated) discussions on the top 6 scripts
here and there around the internet. I thought maybe some interested
parties might post here on this newsgroup. Good luck, all, in your
writing endeavors.
RonB
2004-06-29 00:58:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by New Jersey Housewife
Oh, my. Are there any Project Greenlight members here? There seems to
be quite a few lively (and heated) discussions on the top 6 scripts
here and there around the internet. I thought maybe some interested
parties might post here on this newsgroup. Good luck, all, in your
writing endeavors.
Doesn't appear to be. I watched part of the series on HBO(?) about
Project Greenlight a couple years ago. Nothing about it impressed me
much.
--
RonB
"There's a story there...somewhere"
Jason Williams
2004-06-29 04:42:16 UTC
Permalink
I'm a member who didn't make the first cut. I haven't read the top six yet,
but your synopsis is certainly depressing considering how far my own work
made it! :-(

Jason in Garden Grove, CA
Post by New Jersey Housewife
Oh, my. Are there any Project Greenlight members here? There seems to
be quite a few lively (and heated) discussions on the top 6 scripts
here and there around the internet. I thought maybe some interested
parties might post here on this newsgroup. Good luck, all, in your
writing endeavors.
RonB
2004-06-29 00:57:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by New Jersey Housewife
So... anyone around here read any of the other top 6 scripts?
No.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
What did
you think?
I now think that I won't be reading the top 6 scripts at Project
Greenlight -- although that wasn't much of a temptation before.
--
RonB
"There's a story there...somewhere"
New Jersey Housewife
2004-06-29 19:21:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by RonB
Post by New Jersey Housewife
So... anyone around here read any of the other top 6 scripts?
No.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
What did
you think?
I now think that I won't be reading the top 6 scripts at Project
Greenlight -- although that wasn't much of a temptation before.
They ALL can't be bad. Can they? They are the finalists, so something
must be good about some of them.
Jacques E. Bouchard
2004-06-29 19:22:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by New Jersey Housewife
They ALL can't be bad. Can they? They are the finalists, so something
must be good about some of them.
They're not as bad as the rest.



jaybee
shuggie
2004-06-29 22:52:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by New Jersey Housewife
I've been curious to see what other people interested in writing and
filmmaking think about the "best of the best" from this round of
Project Greenlight. I've only read one of the final 6 scripts and if
this was among the very best out of thousands of entries, all I can
say is, "Oh, sh*t."
I've read all 6.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer just someone who likes movies.

On the whole my reaction was similar to yours. The shortlisted scripts
seem to be a little better than mediocre at best. Even given Sturgeon's
law (90% of anything is crap) this is a little disappointing. As Chris
Moore mused in his weblog for PGL2 - if this is the best they can come
up with then maybe the Hollywood system *does* work. PGL, taken at face
value is about giving talented outsiders a break - but if the best they
can do is ok but not great screenplays like these, then is it worth it?

Anyway...
Post by New Jersey Housewife
"Feast" is a story about a group of stereotypical cartoon characters
(so thin they are only named Heroine and Boss and so on) trapped in a
small building as Beastie monsters try to get in to kill them.
I thought, given the number of characters (I counted 18 speaking parts
at the beginning of the movie) that the characterisation acheived was
pretty good. Plus the conceit of giving them role names rather than real
names was a nice tongue-in-cheek nod to the more savvy audience members.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
The trapped characters always had an escape tunnel from the very
beginning of the story - they don't bother to use it until the very
end.
The beasties always had the ability to come up through the floorboards
and chomp the people. They don't bother to do it until the very end.
Plot inconsistencies of that type rarely bother me unless they're too
blatant - the main thing is entertaining characters, interesting, snappy
dialogue and action scenes I haven't seen a 100 times before. On that
scale Feast did ok, not amazing but ok.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
When the people make a run for it after suddenly remembering the
existence of an escape tunnel after 90 minutes or so of movie, a
sudden from-out-of-nowhere solar eclipse casts them into darkness and
allows the beasties to chomp away. Beasties don't like daylight it
seems.
It wasn't out of nowhere - it was mentioned early in the script.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
Some scene highlights: A small child is brutally ripped to pieces in
gory and bloody fashion onscreen. Papa Beastie and Mama Beastie have
"monster sex" in front of the people. Papa Beastie gets his huge
beastie penis and huge beastie balls slammed in a door.
And this a problem because...? Seriously, this is a horror movie with an
irreverent tone - none of the above shocked me in that context. Is it
written somewhere that PGL winner must be a family film?
Post by New Jersey Housewife
So... anyone around here read any of the other top 6 scripts? What did
you think?
Ok - well I've commented on Feast already. The others were

*Maneater* - it does exactly what it says on the tin. There are these
undead women with supernatural powers who, ah, eat men. For all intents
and purposes it's a vampire movie - the main difference being the girls
eat rather than drink their victims - but I can believe that this was
chosen merely for the pun of the title. One of the group of 3 immortals
begins to question her chosen path - all the killing - and then she
meets a potentially victim she actually quite likes. Can you see where
this is going?

It's not bad - it's main drawback is that it doesn't know if it wants to
be quippy and funny like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or cool and stylish
like The Hunger.


*A Bedtime Story* - my least favourite. A rather jarring mix of
witchcraft, monster story and romcom. Pratical Magic meets Hellraiser.
Some interesting ideas but let down by flat, boring dialogue. A problem
because it required a lot of exposition of the mythology of the
supernatural elements of the story.


*Does Anyone Here Remember When Hans Gubenstein Invented Time Travel?* -
by this stage I was slightly disappointed with the generally
underwhelming quality of the scripts (these are the top 6 of
4-something-thousand??) so was heartened by the title - showed a
potential for originality, even if it hinted at a deliberate quirkiness
that normally makes me wary. And yet...

You know that part in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure where they get
themselves out of a fix by 'remembering' to go back in time later and
plant the things they need? The joke is repeated a few times and carries
on for 10 minutes or so? Well imagine a whole movie of that. Or
Groundhog Day without the love story. Professor Jefferies and his
sidekick Sid Hackenpfuss invent a machine which allows them to send
messages back from the future. So the movie is a series of attempts to
change the future/present by sending back messages. It's a comedy but
sadly it's not nearly as funny as it thinks it is.


*Sixth Street Boyz* - OK, so there was no official theme this year but
the competition rules do mention "We are looking for 'genre' projects
that have a powerful impact, like Horror or Thriller". Perhaps
unsurprising then that 3 of the 6 finalists are horror flicks. Now with
that in mind and the fact that this has a title with the word 'Boyz' in
the title - I immediately began to think of 'The Lost Boys'. Cynical?
Perhaps. And yet it's odd how much the plot of this script mirrors that
one.

It's about a single-dad cop who moves to a small town with his only
daughter. Beaumont may be a small town but it has a big problem with
gang violence, the major gang being the epnonymous Sixth Street Boyz -
who just happen to be vampires. This is fairly predictable stuff. In
fact the only thing that sets it apart from dozens of other vampire
movies is it's slightly different take on vampire mythology (e.g. vamps
can survive in daylight but they lose their powers til sundown) - but
then again, like A Bedtime Story, it hits the exposition problem - big
clunky sections of dialogue designed to let us know what's what.


*Wildcard* - this was my favourite. It's a thriller about two
con-artists, a couple, on the run from an unsuccessful scam in San
Francisco they target a wealthy widower in Oregon for their latest
'game'. Unfortunately he's something of a 'wildcard' and things don't
exactly go as planned.

I liked this because there were characters I liked or was interested in,
there were jokes that were actually funny and it managed to surprise me.
It was by no means perfect but with a re-write or two it could be the
basis for a pretty decent movie I think. Bear in mind that in the next
stage - final 3 - the contestants get given notes on their scripts and
are given a few weeks to re-write - designed, I understand to see how
they are able to respond to such requests which are an inevitable part
of the process. Of all the scripts I read, Wildcard is probably the
most uneven but if they could bring the weaker parts up the level of
the stronger then it would be pretty good IMO.


So overall - as I hinted above - not terribly impressed as to the
quality level. If this is the top 6, makes me wonder about the other
4,500 or so. Of course I've heard it said that the way the contest is
set up - writers voting on competitor's scripts - is inherently going to
promote the mediocre as people vote tactically. Maybe that's true. Or
maybe it's just that really good scripts are as rare as Sturgeon
predicts. I have to confess that I enjoy PGL as a documentary. If they
happen to make a decent movie so much the better - but my expectations
for that are fairly low.
Jason Williams
2004-07-01 04:40:01 UTC
Permalink
As the writer of one of those other scripts, yeah, it's personally
discouraging a little. I did get some decent criticism from a couple of
reviewers, but most either didn't bother with anything more than clicking
the numeric rating buttons or had complaints about the story that seemed way
out of left field. To bad for me my two "excellents" came after the first
five reviews, and that's all PGL used in its calculations in order to have
an equal number of reviews for all contestants. Anyway, I need to rewrite no
matter what, but I wouldn't mind doing it off of the pros' notes that these
guys are getting!

Jason in Garden Grove, CA
Post by shuggie
Post by New Jersey Housewife
I've been curious to see what other people interested in writing and
filmmaking think about the "best of the best" from this round of
Project Greenlight. I've only read one of the final 6 scripts and if
this was among the very best out of thousands of entries, all I can
say is, "Oh, sh*t."
I've read all 6.
Disclaimer: I'm not a writer just someone who likes movies.
On the whole my reaction was similar to yours. The shortlisted scripts
seem to be a little better than mediocre at best. Even given Sturgeon's
law (90% of anything is crap) this is a little disappointing. As Chris
Moore mused in his weblog for PGL2 - if this is the best they can come
up with then maybe the Hollywood system *does* work. PGL, taken at face
value is about giving talented outsiders a break - but if the best they
can do is ok but not great screenplays like these, then is it worth it?
Anyway...
Post by New Jersey Housewife
"Feast" is a story about a group of stereotypical cartoon characters
(so thin they are only named Heroine and Boss and so on) trapped in a
small building as Beastie monsters try to get in to kill them.
I thought, given the number of characters (I counted 18 speaking parts
at the beginning of the movie) that the characterisation acheived was
pretty good. Plus the conceit of giving them role names rather than real
names was a nice tongue-in-cheek nod to the more savvy audience members.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
The trapped characters always had an escape tunnel from the very
beginning of the story - they don't bother to use it until the very
end.
The beasties always had the ability to come up through the floorboards
and chomp the people. They don't bother to do it until the very end.
Plot inconsistencies of that type rarely bother me unless they're too
blatant - the main thing is entertaining characters, interesting, snappy
dialogue and action scenes I haven't seen a 100 times before. On that
scale Feast did ok, not amazing but ok.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
When the people make a run for it after suddenly remembering the
existence of an escape tunnel after 90 minutes or so of movie, a
sudden from-out-of-nowhere solar eclipse casts them into darkness and
allows the beasties to chomp away. Beasties don't like daylight it
seems.
It wasn't out of nowhere - it was mentioned early in the script.
Post by New Jersey Housewife
Some scene highlights: A small child is brutally ripped to pieces in
gory and bloody fashion onscreen. Papa Beastie and Mama Beastie have
"monster sex" in front of the people. Papa Beastie gets his huge
beastie penis and huge beastie balls slammed in a door.
And this a problem because...? Seriously, this is a horror movie with an
irreverent tone - none of the above shocked me in that context. Is it
written somewhere that PGL winner must be a family film?
Post by New Jersey Housewife
So... anyone around here read any of the other top 6 scripts? What did
you think?
Ok - well I've commented on Feast already. The others were
*Maneater* - it does exactly what it says on the tin. There are these
undead women with supernatural powers who, ah, eat men. For all intents
and purposes it's a vampire movie - the main difference being the girls
eat rather than drink their victims - but I can believe that this was
chosen merely for the pun of the title. One of the group of 3 immortals
begins to question her chosen path - all the killing - and then she
meets a potentially victim she actually quite likes. Can you see where
this is going?
It's not bad - it's main drawback is that it doesn't know if it wants to
be quippy and funny like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or cool and stylish
like The Hunger.
*A Bedtime Story* - my least favourite. A rather jarring mix of
witchcraft, monster story and romcom. Pratical Magic meets Hellraiser.
Some interesting ideas but let down by flat, boring dialogue. A problem
because it required a lot of exposition of the mythology of the
supernatural elements of the story.
*Does Anyone Here Remember When Hans Gubenstein Invented Time Travel?* -
by this stage I was slightly disappointed with the generally
underwhelming quality of the scripts (these are the top 6 of
4-something-thousand??) so was heartened by the title - showed a
potential for originality, even if it hinted at a deliberate quirkiness
that normally makes me wary. And yet...
You know that part in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure where they get
themselves out of a fix by 'remembering' to go back in time later and
plant the things they need? The joke is repeated a few times and carries
on for 10 minutes or so? Well imagine a whole movie of that. Or
Groundhog Day without the love story. Professor Jefferies and his
sidekick Sid Hackenpfuss invent a machine which allows them to send
messages back from the future. So the movie is a series of attempts to
change the future/present by sending back messages. It's a comedy but
sadly it's not nearly as funny as it thinks it is.
*Sixth Street Boyz* - OK, so there was no official theme this year but
the competition rules do mention "We are looking for 'genre' projects
that have a powerful impact, like Horror or Thriller". Perhaps
unsurprising then that 3 of the 6 finalists are horror flicks. Now with
that in mind and the fact that this has a title with the word 'Boyz' in
the title - I immediately began to think of 'The Lost Boys'. Cynical?
Perhaps. And yet it's odd how much the plot of this script mirrors that
one.
It's about a single-dad cop who moves to a small town with his only
daughter. Beaumont may be a small town but it has a big problem with
gang violence, the major gang being the epnonymous Sixth Street Boyz -
who just happen to be vampires. This is fairly predictable stuff. In
fact the only thing that sets it apart from dozens of other vampire
movies is it's slightly different take on vampire mythology (e.g. vamps
can survive in daylight but they lose their powers til sundown) - but
then again, like A Bedtime Story, it hits the exposition problem - big
clunky sections of dialogue designed to let us know what's what.
*Wildcard* - this was my favourite. It's a thriller about two
con-artists, a couple, on the run from an unsuccessful scam in San
Francisco they target a wealthy widower in Oregon for their latest
'game'. Unfortunately he's something of a 'wildcard' and things don't
exactly go as planned.
I liked this because there were characters I liked or was interested in,
there were jokes that were actually funny and it managed to surprise me.
It was by no means perfect but with a re-write or two it could be the
basis for a pretty decent movie I think. Bear in mind that in the next
stage - final 3 - the contestants get given notes on their scripts and
are given a few weeks to re-write - designed, I understand to see how
they are able to respond to such requests which are an inevitable part
of the process. Of all the scripts I read, Wildcard is probably the
most uneven but if they could bring the weaker parts up the level of
the stronger then it would be pretty good IMO.
So overall - as I hinted above - not terribly impressed as to the
quality level. If this is the top 6, makes me wonder about the other
4,500 or so. Of course I've heard it said that the way the contest is
set up - writers voting on competitor's scripts - is inherently going to
promote the mediocre as people vote tactically. Maybe that's true. Or
maybe it's just that really good scripts are as rare as Sturgeon
predicts. I have to confess that I enjoy PGL as a documentary. If they
happen to make a decent movie so much the better - but my expectations
for that are fairly low.
shuggie
2004-07-01 10:48:29 UTC
Permalink
In article <BAMEc.6905$***@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com>, Jason Williams
says...
Post by Jason Williams
As the writer of one of those other scripts, yeah, it's personally
discouraging a little. I did get some decent criticism from a couple of
reviewers, but most either didn't bother with anything more than clicking
the numeric rating buttons or had complaints about the story that seemed way
out of left field. To bad for me my two "excellents" came after the first
five reviews, and that's all PGL used in its calculations in order to have
an equal number of reviews for all contestants. Anyway, I need to rewrite no
matter what, but I wouldn't mind doing it off of the pros' notes that these
guys are getting!
Jason in Garden Grove, CA
Yeah.

By the way, turns out I got the dates mixed up - the 6 finalists already got
notes, rewrote and the top 3 were chosen on the basis of that (plus interviews
and a pitch video). Not sure if there'll be any more re-writes now as the winner
is picked on July 13th.

They picked the same top 3 as I would've - Wildcard, Feast and Does Anyone...?
Except for Feast (which I'm assuming is an oversight rather than there being no
notes) the updated scripts are on the website so I'm re-reading to see how much,
if at all, they've improved. Part-way through Does Anyone...? It's a major
re-write, same basic concept but moved things around a lot and introduced a love
interest for the professor - so looks like it is gonna be Groundhog Day after
all ;)
New Jersey Housewife
2004-07-01 23:29:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by shuggie
says...
Post by Jason Williams
As the writer of one of those other scripts, yeah, it's personally
discouraging a little. I did get some decent criticism from a couple of
reviewers, but most either didn't bother with anything more than clicking
the numeric rating buttons or had complaints about the story that seemed way
out of left field. To bad for me my two "excellents" came after the first
five reviews, and that's all PGL used in its calculations in order to have
an equal number of reviews for all contestants. Anyway, I need to rewrite no
matter what, but I wouldn't mind doing it off of the pros' notes that these
guys are getting!
Jason in Garden Grove, CA
Yeah.
By the way, turns out I got the dates mixed up - the 6 finalists already got
notes, rewrote and the top 3 were chosen on the basis of that (plus interviews
and a pitch video). Not sure if there'll be any more re-writes now as the winner
is picked on July 13th.
They picked the same top 3 as I would've - Wildcard, Feast and Does Anyone...?
Except for Feast (which I'm assuming is an oversight rather than there being no
notes) the updated scripts are on the website so I'm re-reading to see how much,
if at all, they've improved. Part-way through Does Anyone...? It's a major
re-write, same basic concept but moved things around a lot and introduced a love
interest for the professor - so looks like it is gonna be Groundhog Day after
all ;)
So you think the time travel script will win? I like those kinds of stories.
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